Liars, liars, bras on fire!

truth and lies

Dear sleuthy readers,

I have another mystery for you to solve! Muahuaha! *coughs* I’ve been doing too many evil chuckles. Anyway, this one will test your observational skills.

This case was interesting in the sense that it involved three people and they were ALL telling different stories. Ah yes, lies, they’re easy to tell when you keep it simple. I love it when people lie, makes my job a little more challenging. It’s also more fun to catch people in a lie, especially people who underestimate you. This happens to me a lot. Probably because of my Goth-like exterior and because I’m a teenager, but that’s what makes it extra fun to watch the look on their face when they realise I outsmarted them. Junior PI to the rescue.

Let me fill you in on ‘the case’. Imagine, if you will, a beautiful morning, the shining sun, singing birds, a gentle breeze. You’re in your office getting ready for some boring paperwork—but oh well, you can’t have it all—when three (slightly hysterical) women burst into the office. Of course it is exactly during that time that PI Addison has gone to get a coffee, so it’s ME that is left to deal with these female shenanigans. I’m not good with women. Or maybe they’re not good with me. They tend to be mean, but in a subtle way. I don’t do subtle and I also don’t let people be mean to me. Usually within five minutes there’s a fight, but in this case there already was a fight. Just not with me. Yay…or something.

What was the problem you ask, curious reader? Well, I’ll tell you. They were housemates and all claimed they bought this winning lottery ticket last week. It took them a while to check it, but when the owner of the ticket did and saw she’d won, they all claimed it was theirs. The ticket won one of them £100, so the question was, which one? I listened to each of their stories. Better than paperwork.


Lady #1:

She touched her long chestnut hair before she spoke. “I bought the ticket on my way from work. I felt like I could do with some luck. So I figured, why not try? It cost £2 and the man who sold it to me had a moustache and black hair. He called me ‘love’ and gave me change from my £5 note.” She touched her hair again and then glared at the two housemates.

Lady #2:

She plucked on her sleeve as she told me: “I got the ticket while I was shopping. I just did it for fun and now these two want to rob me. I’m telling you. There was a man who sold it to me. He had a beard and glasses. It smelt like something sweet in there. I remember it clearly.”

Lady #3:

She was close to tears, mostly from anger. “These two have always had a problem with me. They’re mean and it’s my ticket. I got it while I bought myself a newspaper before work.”


So I asked for the lottery ticket. It was slightly bent but other than that looked okay. I even smelt the ticket. It smelt like…well, a lottery ticket. I guess, a paper-y smell. So then I wrote down a question on a piece of paper and asked them to write the answer on the back, separate from each other.


Q: “What kind of weather was it?”

Lady #1: Raining.

Lady #2: Cloudy.

Lady #3: Didn’t remember.


And that, dear reader, is what led me to believe who the real owner of the ticket was. I know a little about lying and you might not, but take a guess and tell me who you think the ticket belongs to. Be a little Sherlock, come on, you can do it.

It’s handy to know when people are lying, because people do it all the time. Like me, I’m doing it right now as I’m telling you your hair looks fabulous. See, and wouldn’t you want to know that so you can point and say: “HA! LIAR!” Try it, it’s really fun.

I’ll keep you posted on any more wild PI shenanigans.

Penelope out!


Mood: Snobby.

Stake-outs: three, one of which involved a stray cat.

Food: Biscuits, cause I’m cool like that.

Random word of the day: Probity (meaning: virtue, integrity).




The Case of the Missing Canines Sequel

magnifying glass

Hello sleuthy readers,

Are you ready for the nail-biting sequel to the dognapping case? Good, me too. What does one do when one is left with no clues and more disappearances? Well, you start guessing and see where it leads you. If someone has three dogs, they would need to keep them somewhere, right? They’d probably have to get supplies in order to keep these spoiled pooches happy. And if it’s someone from town, it would be risky walking them in public. There are only three pet stores in town, so naturally I went to visit them all to ask them about any recent costumers who bought a lot of supplies for dogs. Those were actually quite a few people, so I had to see the footage from the security cameras, but they didn’t want to give them to a sassy student such as myself. I had to get reinforcement in the shape of PI Addison. With his scolding frown and Cockney accent, as well as his PI license, it was actually quite easy. A is for outstanding. Note to self: talk in Cockney accent next time. And become  a grumpy man.

Can you guess who was on one of the security cameras? Can you? Can you? No, you can’t, so I’ll just tell you. It was…wait for it…Chelsea. Insert gasp. Yes, that’s right. So she is her worst enemy in this scenario, although, just because someone’s involved, doesn’t mean they are responsible. But why would someone steal their own dog? *strokes chin* And then hire us? *strokes chin with two hands* Only one way to find out.

Why do you think she did all this?

A)     She be crazy

B)      She doesn’t like her friends’ dogs.

C)      She be crazy

Actually, that’s a trick question, it’s none of the above, although partly all of it, probably. When we went to talk to her, she kind of went all ‘misguided teenager’ on us and broke down in tears, saying they didn’t have that much money and that her boyfriend came up with a plan. Sure, that’s what boyfriends are for, coming up with ways to scam people. In this case, he also scammed her. He didn’t get in touch after the other two dogs were stolen and she doesn’t know where he keeps them. Apparently purebred dogs are worth a lot of money and they were going to sell them. But why would he take the dogs for himself, you ask? Clearly to take the money and run. Bad boyfriend.

They hadn’t been dating that long, so she didn’t even know where he lived. She did have his name, but when PI Addison looked into it, it turned out the name belonged to a fifty-year-old dead man. So clearly, scamming was his middle name, never mind the rest of his real name.

I figured that the dog show was a great way to find potential buyers, so with heavy shoes I went there with PI Addison and Chelsea to find him. I’ll leave it to you to find out what happened.

A: He was dressed as an old man, with a fake moustache and all. He had the dogs with him. They were on leashes and tangled them up as they ran around him. He may have tripped and nearly lost his fake moustache. PI Addison was dressed as a potential buyer (in a suit ^_^) and talked to him. Then he told him he was with the police (not entirely true) and the guy made a run for it. All the dogs sensed the excitement, which they clearly didn’t get at home, and started chasing him. Utter mayhem. Eventually he tripped over an English Bulldog.

B: He was dressed as an old lady and had the dogs in the back of his car. He was talking to people and tripped over an English Bulldog, which made us realise it was him, since his wig came off. One of the guests there thought he was up to know good and threatened him. He ran for it and led us to his car.

C: He came without a poor disguise and hit on older, wealthy women while he had the dogs with him. I snuck up behind him and freed the dogs from their leashes. Then started throwing around bacon to create mayhem (as I love to do) as he tried to run for the hills. He tripped over an English Bulldog and I jumped him.

What do you think happened? Either way, the bad guy tripped over an English Bulldog. (PS: hint is there, even if it doesn’t make sense).

Penelope out!

Mood: Sarcastic.

Outfit: Black, black and black.

Food: Chocolate, white.

Random word of the day: Conflagration (meaning: great fire).

The Case of the Missing Canines

Hello my sleuthy readers,

Since you guys love mysteries so much, I will finally share with you the Case of the Missing Canines. A small case, yet interesting. Or just weird, I’m not sure. Pay attention, because at the end of the day there may or may not be hints and clues. You know how much I love to make you think.

First, allow me to disclose to you that the girl who entered our classroom was called Chelsea. She wanted to hire us (and I apply that term loosely, since she only paid us with tickets to a dog show and not those cool ones where they jump through rings of fire, but those where you watch dolled-up dogs standing in awkward poses as they get judged) because her purebred Shih Tzu got dognapped. That’s right DOGNAPPED! *dum dum dum dum* I’m sorry, I felt like that should be emphasised. I mean, who would steal a small, hairy dog with a flat face. Granted, they are adorable balls of fur that on occasion will lick your feet, but you also need to brush, feed, water and pick up their doodoos after them. And for that you want to commit a felony? Please, if you’re going to steal something, steal food or bubble wrap. At least those are useful. And fun.

dogshow 1

In any case, Chelsea entered her dog, Charity (!), into an Open show. An Open show, apparently, is a show which is only open to dogs who are registered with the Kennel Club. That sounds cool, right? The Kennel Club. I feel like that should be a name for a group of dogs who fight crime. In reality, though, they govern things like dog shows. Chelsea was convinced that one of her friends who also entered the dog show had done it for sabotage. Nice friends, right? Anyway, the gang and I went to talk to her three friends who are very dogpetitive. Let the suspect list begin. First of all there is Brittany, who goes to a much more elite school than Chelsea (and us) and owns a Maltese named Etienne. She laughed when I told her that her friend’s dog was stolen and also referred to the dog as a mutt since it was living with a ‘poor’ family. Again, nice friends. Then there’s Brianna. She showed genuine concern for the missing pooch and owns a Boston Terrier, Pierre, that she claimed is in love with Charity. Last but not least, Vivian. She owns a pug named L’oreal, like the brand, and seemed indifferent about the crime, though she wasn’t surprised considering the bad neighbourhood Chelsea lives in. I’d like to roll my eyes at this since she lives in a cul-de-sac in an adorable town in Oxfordshire, but considering the last crime that took place here as well as the current one, I’m beginning to think a lot of people have sticky fingers around here.

Now, who is your number one suspect at this point? Yeah, Brittany is mine too. But then her dog got dognapped too! *dum dum dum dum* Sorry, I couldn’t resist. You’d think this leaves us with two suspects, but then when we were about to visit Brianna and Vivian to see if they had an alibi for the time when Etienne went missing, we found out that they dropped out of the Open show for fear that their treasures (their words) would get dognapped too. So now, who would be dognapping these dogs and WHY?
Can you guess? Any suggestions? Hopes? Fears? Daydreams? Let me know, because if you’re right, you’ll get a virtual cookie. Part two of this epic tale (or tail, ha!) will continue next time.

Penelope out!

Mood: Pensive.
Outfit: Hello Kitty PJs.
Food: Ice cream.
Random word of the day: Pernicus (meaning: deadly).
Quote of the day: Sometimes your worst enemy is in the mirror.

'I said: Look at me!'

‘I said: Look at me!’